I love the tradition of gathering, feasting and giving thanks. With every holiday celebration comes a commemoration of some particular moment in history deemed good and worthy of jubilee. So as we reflect upon the history of Thanksgiving earnestly, we must acknowledge the cognitive dissonance that we are hopefully all experiencing. It would in fact encourage me to know that others wrestle with the narrative of peace —Squanto and the Mayflower Voyagers breaking bread together — vs. the very real suffering of the Wampanoag people and many other indigenous tribes that continues to this day.
My ideas for setting our tables are intended to honor the earth and make way for slowing down our minds in order to welcome in nature. While I don’t claim to tackle the debt owed for a distraught past, I do seek reparations with any small fruit my hands may produce. We can approach our tables in such a way that makes us more still, remembering the ones who have suffered as a result of this day while also offering gratitude for the gifts of harvest.
So here are the basics for setting up your table to welcome the gifts of family/ friends and nature:
Light: Place your table where people will experience the light of day. Eat outside if possible, but if it is too cold prepare your table by the brightest lit window. We do not have a dining room in our small row home but if you do, these are normally well lit rooms. As you share your meal allow yourself moments of stillness in order that the light might nourish you.
Time: Consider the time when you will gather and how light will impact the mood or feeling of your gathering. Our home receives the best light in the morning around 10am. Preparing an early meal followed by a hike feels like the right mood for our household. Perhaps dusk works better in your home. Take the hike in the morning and feast in the evening. If you have an evening meal, make sure you have candles so as not to admonish the light.
Space: Movies and commercials often depict large tables wide enough to hold everyone’s plated meal and all the Thanksgiving dishes which can easily be passed back and forth. However, most of our tables are not this large. If your table is more dainty, prepare another nearby surface where dishes are placed while allowing for a few small items such as dinner rolls to remain on the main table. Never let the size of your table deter you from inviting as many guests as you want to welcome. One of the best things I ever purchased was a couple fold-out tables and chairs for this reason.
Table Cloths: Clothe the table with a special fabric or attire to indicate that something out of the ordinary is about to occur. If you don’t have a table cloth, remove the curtain in Maria Von Trapp style and place it on the table. Both of the table cloths pictured in my images are actually curtains. Consider the textures and where the fabric was made. Patterns or solid colors can elevate a space in a significant way. Table runners also work great as an alternative.
Flowers and Foraged Nature: You may have a few dahlias and mums still blooming as we do up here in the northeast, but I love the way dried flowers and the colorful leaves outside look among the feast. Honoring nature by bringing it to the table indicates that what is growing has value and that we are grateful for it. I like to go on foraging walks with my children and allow them to pick out things that they find interesting. Collect what you find in gratitude and care. Perhaps as you go about acquiring earth’s gifts, you could leave one as well. Plant a bulb in return.
Placemats and Chargers: Surrounding your plate with a place for food to go if it falls is always a good idea. I love the look of chargers but placemats often make it easier to place forks knives and glassware. Use what you have. If there are children at your feast, consider covering their table with crate paper. It can double as a canvas and catch all for food.
Plating and Utensils: Determine what foods your Thanksgiving will include and pull out plates and utensils accordingly. While cleaning may be a hassle, stay clear of single-use plastics or paper products when possible. If you do not have a dishwasher, ask a family member to help you clean up. If you have soup, bring out bowls but no need to crowd your table with unnecessary items if there is no use. If your dinner and salad plates don’t match, even better. Uniformity is not the point of the gathering and its better to prioritize cohesion over sameness. In formal settings there are multiple forks and knives but for our feast, I just choose one of each. Forks go to the left, knives to the right, followed by spoons.
Napkins: Though it may be tempting to buy paper napkins, cloth napkins can be used over and over again. If you do not have cloth napkins, bandannas are a great alternative. I like to fold the napkins and place them in the middle of my plate, underneath a foraged or pressed flower. Typically napkins go to the left of the plate.
Water and Wine: I am not a big mason jar fan when it comes to flowers, however for drinking water, a 32 oz mason jar is perfect. I find that the standard drinking glass is too small for the amount of water I like to drink. Hydration is very important to me and it is usually the first thing guests like when they arrive. Have a stash of ice if your guests prefer. For wine glasses, we use tea cups since we have broken almost every wine glass we have ever owned. It is what we have so we use them. Place these items in the upper right corner of the plate.
Candles: Having a bit of fire flaming among the meal is another way to bring nature to the table. Amidst the colors of seasonal foods and foliage, the amber light of fire is an ode to the power of light to make us feel warmth and at rest. Whether a candlestick, votive or candelabra, allow your table to be the main source of light when the sun goes down.
As you know, items on a table are not what makes us more caring or loving, but perhaps they can prompt us to become more conscious participants in our gatherings. I’m sure even as we speak there are vaccinated relatives who are pondering whether or not to join together with their unvaccinated family or vis-versa. While this is a legitimate concern and I am very pro- vaccine, might I suggest rather than prompting one another towards the tensions we so easily feel, that we lay down our swords. Allow the light of the sun to penetrate our tables and remind us that we are part of an ecosystem larger that our individual selves.
What would the ground of our continent feel like if we had entered the land and listened to it? What if the early settlers had looked into the eyes of the peoples met on their voyage and seen them as made in the image of Divine Love? The same humanity that caused war among our ancestors is the same humanity I bring to holiday gatherings. Conscious gathering allows me to recognize the parts of myself that tends toward greed, selfishness and disregard for my earthen community and move toward reconnecting with this Love by which we were all hone. So as I approach the table with this in mind, I am letting the light soak deep within my bones, quieting my words and opening my arms.
Some wise words from Braiding Sweet Grass:
Know the ways of the ones who take care of you, so that you may take care of them.
Introduce yourself. Be accountable as the one who comes asking for life. Ask permission before taking. Abide by the answer.
Never take the first. Never take the last. Take only what you need.
Take only that which is given.
Never take more than half. Leave some for others. Harvest in a way that minimizes harm.Use it respectfully. Never waste what you have taken.
Share.
Give thanks for what you have been given.
Give a gift, in reciprocity for what you have taken.
Sustain the ones who sustain you and the earth will last forever.
-Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweet Grass