A reflection on motherhood & art practice pt. 1

Yesterday I had the privilege of speaking with author, Catherine Ricketts who writes about art and motherhood. As a florist and fellow-mother, she invited me to have a conversation with her on Instagram Live for her Mother/Artist Lunch-Break Series, which highlights the various ways that care and the imagination intersect..You can read more about her work by going to her website catherinedanaricketts.com, or following along with her on Instagram @bycatherinericketts. Below, I have provided a video link to our conversation, as well as a written reflection on the topics we discussed. If you find yourself struggling to balance parenthood with creative work, I invite you to read/watch on as you are not alone.

When I started my business as a new mother, I did so after working many years in the non-profit arts sector where I ran education programs in various spaces from galleries to libraries, churches to schools. While working in both the arts and with youth felt meaningful and purposeful, my full time schedule often kept me from spending time with my own family and required hours beyond the mere 40 or so for which I was hired. The appeal of being in charge of my schedule paired with my knack for floral design is what first compelled me to start Flower Clvb. Prior to 2018, floral design was just a side hustle.

When I was pregnant with my first, I began conceiving the idea of starting my own business. As someone who is always dreaming up ideas, I have learned that the one’s that stick are those that keep returning and nudging me or rather, the ones that I just do without too much scheming or planning. My philosophy for starting anything is always to try it until it doesn’t work anymore. If the idea is not too complicated and I am passionate enough about it, it will always work. I would certainly characterize myself as a self-starter but out of the thousands of business ideas that have flown in and out of my head over the years, only two have stuck. Flower Clvb is one of those ideas.

Beginning with just a few smaller weddings and growing slowly, by the time my second child arrived in 2019, I felt I was able to balance motherhood with my budding business. Flower Clvb was novel and exciting yet progressing at a pace that was manageable. Then COVID hit in March 2020 and all the momentum I had built was shut down. Admittedly, at the start of the pandemic I was coveting the life of my friends who did not have children but as the months of isolation persisted, I became immensely grateful for the gift of my children. Our daily walks to the park, the establishment of a routine (something new for me), cooking dinner for my family and actually sitting around a kitchen table felt like the slow life I craved. Unlike many florists that I admire, I did not pivot my business to offer something unique for the time. I simply hit the pause button. All the weddings I had booked for fall of 2020 got pushed back to 2021 and so I decided to just focus on my family and continue booking for the future.

Fast forward to fall of 2021 and I am suddenly full time florist and full time parent. The balance in many ways has gone out the window. This current season is H.A.R.D. While I finally feel like I am contributing meaningfully to our family’s income, I must admit that I am not handling it as well as I hoped. The slow, still poetry of walking to the park daily with my kids is no longer there and the flexible schedule which once compelled me to enter floristry is quickly becoming more rigid and demanding. Desperate for child care help during wedding weekends, working from the moment my kids go to bed till the moment I am falling asleep at my computer, trying to send proposals while my kids are watching television, not to mention making flower arrangements is all part of the overwhelm that is this season of motherhood.

***If you are a bride reading this, I want to assure you the chaos of the last sentence is wondrously tamed by the following sentences. Please read on for assurance***

The saying that it takes a village to raise a child is so cliche as it is true but what I have found to be even more profound is the village it takes to also support parents toward success. I am a big believer that we cannot mother in isolation. Reach out for help when you need it. While I do think mothers have great capacity to spin many plates at the same time and do it well, I also know that the inner-life and mind can be dark and despairing when community is absent. Our villages might look like therapy, trusted friends, grandmothers, hiring childcare, an assistant or simply having neighbors you can rely on. No matter what help looks like, I am convinced that it is essential. Getting help is truly the only way I can survive this season.

Hiring others to assist me in my business keeps Flower Clvb from operating as a one woman show, a production that would most certainly end in catastrophe. Thriving as a designer is dependent upon having an excellent team around me. My absolute resolute insistence that both my children are joyful healthy beings and that my florals are spectacularly beautiful do not have to be at odds with each other. The idea that one has to suffer while the other flourishes is a false dichotomy. If I was doing both by myself, then surely they would. We need people. We need each other.

Flowers are truth tellers and in many ways they are my mentors to both me as a mother and a creative laborer. There is an endless amount of lessons they teach us -- one being-- the impact they have together. A village of flowers made up of the various textures, colors, sizes, shapes and tones is always more glorious than merely one standing by itself. Rarely is a bride walking down the aisle with just one stem (though I can imagine instances where this would be exquisite). Whether you are a mother, an artist, working mom or just human being trying to handle your life, don’t go it alone.

I am breaking up this reflection into two parts since there is so much to unpack. so stay tuned for part 2.